Sin Cities

You left with the best of intentions, but is there any harm in breaking a few of your well-kept rules when you go away? Read our Seven Deadly Sins guide to letting loose around the Ryanair network! Words by Mike Peake

PRIDE
How about a redesign?
In a recent survey, 40% of teenagers said they wanted cosmetic surgery, and let’s be honest – most of us would probably quite like a tweak if the price was right and we thought we could dodge the sniggering.

There are countless horror stories about cut-priced cosmetic surgeons in eastern Europe who will get snippy for a fraction of what you’d pay in western Europe – but there are successes, too. Emma Powerell from Rugby, UK, recently used Smile Savers in Budapest (www.smilesavershungary.co.uk) and, including the cost of her trip, shelled out about €4,545 for a sparkling brand new set of teeth. It could have cost five times that back home.

Her advice? Do as much research as possible! The British Association of Plastic Surgeons has recently revealed that 23% of its members had been called on to “fix” patients who had gone abroad for cosmetic surgery.

WRATH
Catharsis for the perpetually uptight
Oddly, nothing comes up when you type in “anger holidays” on the inter-web, which certainly suggests a gap in the market. Luckily we know a bloke called Ivo in Latvia who has just the thing, and while he might not actively target his Kalashnikov-firing holidays at tantrum-prone mentalists, his trips to the local shooting ranges are a big hit and an excellent release (www.travel2riga.com).

The livid may also find some escape in martial arts, and some of the best in Europe can be found in the Netherlands, where the SLAMM Thai boxing scene is just the thing for fight nuts who can’t get to Vegas. Brutal and bloody bouts regularly take place across the country, so keep an eye on www.slamm.nl

GLUTTONY
Like Taste the Difference, only better
Back on safer ground, the food lover is spoilt for choice as he troughs his way from Poland to Spain via the delis of Italy and the chocolate shops of Switzerland. One of Europe’s largest upmarket food halls is the deli floor at KaDeWe (www.kadewe.de) in Berlin. Further south is the sumptuous Julius Meinl in Vienna (www.meinlamgraben.at), which sells more than 16,000 tasty treats shipped in from all over the planet – Caspian caviar, anyone? In Rome, Volpetti (www.volpetti.com) is the gourmet food shop of choice, while in Montpellier, France, a store called Pinto on Rue de l’Argenterie is a gastronome’s dream. Then there’s El Bulli (www.elbulli.com), near Girona airport, hailed by some as the best eatery in the world.

ENVY
Live like a rock star
As most of the world was reeling from the economic crisis, British restaurateur Mark Fuller popped a Champagne cork, said “What credit crunch?” and opened Sanctum Soho Hotel in London (www.sanctumsoho.com). It’s a proper rock ’n’ roll hotel that’s part owned by Iron Maiden’s managers and describes itself as “an alluring haven of hedonism”.

But despite its ultra-cool looks, an always-open rooftop bar just for guests, and a to-die-for West End location, the launch prices for rooms were just £125 (€142) a night when it opened in the spring – not bad when a stay at Los Angeles’ rock star pad Chateau Marmont start at twice that. Another rare bargain can be found at the Hotel Plaza Mayor (www.h-plazamayor.com) in Madrid – spotless rooms, free wi-fi and marble bathrooms, all in the heart of Madrid’s historic quarter from a purse-friendly €75 a night.

GREED
Spend it, spend it, then spend it some more!
From the boulevards of Paris to the luxurious streets of London’s Mayfair, Europe is awash with posh boutiques and top-name stores that can strip you of your wages faster than an armed Russian border guard. But instead of your usual Bond Street and Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré, try some lesser-known shopping gems like Carrera Y Carrera, a 120-year-old jeweller’s in Madrid (www.carreraycarrera.com), which has counted Shakira and Audrey Hepburn among its customers. And for anyone seriously looking to indulge, pick up some art and antiques at Milan’s Navigli Antique Market, named by National Geographic as one of the best shopping streets in the world.

A couple more posh shops we like: Art et Signature at Place du Marché in Nîmes (blow your inheritance on top-end pens and sumptuous office accessories), and Officina Profumo Farmaceutica di Santa Maria Novella on Via Della Scala, Florence, a haunt of Hannibal Lecter in the 2001 film Hannibal, where a bar of soap can cost as much as a three-course dinner.

SLOTH
Not lazy, just a little bit tired
Being bone-idle is undoubtedly a sin, but relaxing on holiday is surely to be applauded. One of the best ways to get into the zone is to stay at a place with a monastic background. Villa Palazzola (www.palazzola.it) near Rome is one such spot, bought in the 1920s by the Venerable English College so that its trainee priests could duck out of the scorching summer sun. Rooms start at just €85pp (which includes three meals) and the whole place is nestled in the middle of a huge forest.

A similarly serene spot is Hotel Jenerálka (www.hotel-jeneralka.cz) in Prague, which is run by Baptist priests. If you need more than sitting still and looking at scenery to properly unwind, one of Europe’s best spa towns is Baden-Baden, the place in Germany that the England football team and their WAGs bedded down in during the 2006 World Cup. The ladies stayed at the ultra-chic Brenner’s Park Hotel & Spa (www.brenners.com), where you can pay for a massage called “body torture”, once named one of the best treatments on the planet. Oof!

LUST
Have suitcase, will try anything
Skilfully avoiding the thorny subject of red light districts, our lustful eye on Europe unearths such delights as “the sexiest club in Germany” – a simmering institution of sleaze called the KitKatClub (www.kitkatclub.org). This vibrant nightspot on Berlin’s Köpenickerstrasse features throbbing dance music, a very open-minded clientele and a dress code that will only see the rather strict doorlady saying “Ja!” if you look like an extra from a Marilyn Manson video.

Rather more tasteful is Cadolle (www.cadolle.com), a lingerie store in Paris that is old-school, super-posh and fashionable all at once. Find it on Rue Cambon. While you’re in Paris, also check out the Murano hotel (www.muranoresort.com), which The Sunday Times ranked in its sexiest hotels in the world. If you bank at Coutts, why not take one of their two €2,500-a-night XL suites, which have private heated outdoor pools? To top off an amorous night in the city of love, book a table at Les Saveurs de Flora on Avenue George V, one of the capital’s most sensual eateries, where food is mouth-wateringly rich and the décor best described as “high-camp sexy”. Grrr…