Royal Good Time

Forget Buckingham Palace

Illustrations by Andy Watts

For a long time the British royal family managed to convince the world that being a Windsor was a bit of a chore. They may even have believed it themselves. Princess Diana was glamorous, but she never seemed to have much fun. However, now that William and Harry and their fun-loving, flame- haired cousins Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie have come of age, it’s clear that being a young royal can be a sweet deal. They get to go to all the best restaurants, bars and clubs and are even allowed, at Grandma’s house at least, to eat roast swan.

So as the UK prepares to enjoy a public holiday on 29 April to celebrate William’s marriage to commoner Kate Middleton, we investigate where you can go to rub shoulders with the young blue-bloods, not just watch them on TV.

Our mission starts in London’s well-heeled Chelsea neighbourhood. Your first stop has to be one of the restaurants that the young royals frequent. It’s important to eat. This will help soak up the cocktails that Harry will want to buy for you later. Try one of soon-to-be-princess Kate Middleton’s favourite places, Bluebird, on the King’s Road. Cool, contemporary and Conran-designed, it brings together a restaurant, café, bar and bakery. Surprisingly, you can order a fantastic three-course lunch for just £22 (€26).

Don’t fancy dining with Kate and her mates? You could try Prince William’s best friend Guy Pelly’s suggestions. When we got in touch to ask his advice, he recommended us the Brompton Bar & Grill on Brompton Road. “It’s run by a guy close to my age and it’s a very cool little place,” he says. Next he points us in the direction of Italian restaurant La Famiglia on Langton Street, “an old classic”, and says he and his friends are also fans of Tendido Cero on Old Brompton Road. “It’s a great Spanish tapas restaurant that is another real favourite.” All of these places, by a happy coincidence, are located very close to Pelly’s own newly opened club, Public.

In the world of posh clubbing, the opening of Public is akin to handsome mystery man arriving at the Eton reunion party wearing an Arcade Fire T-shirt, rather than a shirt and blazer. It’s only been on the scene since the end of last year, and Chelsea’s socialites are still swooning over it. It’s distinctly playful, with a fairground carousel in the centre of the dance floor, a dressing-up box of costumes, and a sweet shop-themed VIP room.

Despite the fact that Public has already seduced William and Harry, as well as cousins Beatrice and Eugenie, it’s unlikely the royals will be abandoning old favourites like Polynesian-themed bar Mahiki on Dover Street, not far from Buckingham Palace. Prince William is said to have come here after splitting up with Kate in 2007, celebrating his freedom by drinking his way through bottles of Champagne and cocktails with pals before leaving with a whopping £11,000 bar bill.

However, we don’t talk about that now. Better to think about happier times under the moody purple lighting of Boujis on Thurloe Street. At one point the older royals were said to be growing concerned about how much time William and Harry were spending in its intimate little alcoves, downing the signature Boujis cocktail of Champagne, raspberry juice and vodka. Contrary to what many would think, it’s not a private club; anyone can hang with the super-toffs here. Then there’s purple-hued pop-star favourite Mo*vida, and super-stylish A-list haunt Whisky Mist, which is owned by the same people as Mahiki. Beatrice has been known to hit them both in the same night, and you’re just as likely to meet a hot actor here as an heir to the throne.

By now, if you’ve been following our tour closely, you’ll already have had a quick snog from Harry and a “hello, so pleased to meet you, erm, I really must be going” from William. If not it’s probably because you’re wearing the wrong clothes. Buy new, better clothes at elegant department store Harvey Nichols in Knightsbridge. Fancy dresses by Issa worked for Kate Middleton (she wore one to the press conference to announce her engagement), or you could try polo gear from Polistas in Mayfair if you’re going for a more casual, sporty look.

Meanwhile, chaps will want to buy fancy shoes, perhaps from high-end shoe store John Lobb, near St James’s Palace. Edward VII was a customer, and they supply today’s royals too. Then add a formal shirt from Turnbull & Asser, also on Jermyn Street, known to be a favourite of the Windsors. This 125-year-old British shirtmaker and clothier has glamorous outposts in Beverly Hills and New York, and offers some bright colour options for the more daring aristocrat. An outfit isn’t complete without accessories. Ladies, if you pull Prince Harry, you should try to drag him down to the famous jeweller Garrard on Albemarle Street the next morning, as early as possible, while he’s still a bit tipsy. Garrard made the royal engagement ring for Princess Diana that is now sported by Kate. It’s a beautiful place to window-shop even if you don’t have an inebriated heir with you.

If you’ve truly been following our insider tour, you should have bagged at least a minor royal by now. If not, forget about how great a time you might have had, you’ve failed miserably! Luckily, even though William and Zara slipped through our fingers, we’re not just limited in our choice to Harry, Beatrice and Eugenie. There’s a whole host of cousins and other double-barrelled types waiting for you to join them. Being royal, we believe, is not a privilege, it’s a right – and it’s time we got our slice of the tasty swan pie!

One's London address book

I adore grabbing a bite in…
Bluebird 350 King’s Road, tel: +44 (0)20 7559 1000
www.bluebird-restaurant.co.uk
Brompton Bar & Grill 243 Brompton Road, tel: +44 (0)20 7589 8005 www.bromptonbarandgrill.com
La Famiglia 7 Langton Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7351 0761 www.lafamiglia.co.uk
Tendido Cero 174 Old Brompton Road, tel: +44 (0)20 7370 3685 www.cambiodetercio.co.uk

I go for cocktails at…
Boujis 43 Thurloe Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7584 2000 www.boujis.com
Mahiki 1 Dover Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7493 9529 www.mahiki.com
Mo*vida 8–9 Argyll Street, tel: +44(0)20 7734 5776 www.movida-london.com
Public 533 King’s Road, tel: +44 (0)20 7751 4400 www.public.uk.com
Whisky Mist 35 Hertford Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7208 4067 www.whiskymist.com

Time to shop for new clothes (weekly!) at…
Harvey Nichols 109–125 Knightsbridge, tel: +44 (0)20 7235 5000 www.harveynichols.com
John Lobb 88 Jermyn Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7930 8089 www.johnlobb.com
Polistas 19 Shepherd Market, tel: +44 (0)20 7495 4525 www.polistas.co.uk
Turnbull & Asser 71–72 Jermyn Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7808 3000 www.turnbullandasser.com

The best place to buy something sparkly is…
Garrard 24 Albemarle Street, tel: +44 (0)20 7518 1070 www.garrard.com

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