Rock-Bottom Rock

Despite its wealthy reputation, you’d be surprised how far your money can go in Monaco. Roger Norum picks out some bargains.

OK, free associate with me for a second here. You hear Monaco, you think what? Diamonds? Paparazzi? Casinos? Maybe Grace Kelly, 007 and McLaren? Well, whatever stereotypes have ever been brought to mind by this exotic Mediterranean resort of the riche et célèbre, “budget” was certainly never one of them. Until now…

While the principality has been the preserve of the ultra-wealthy and their hangers-on for years, even this stronghold of blue blood and tax shelters – “a sunny place for shady people”, as author Somerset Maugham once described it – hasn’t avoided the global credit crunch. But shrinking pensions haven’t put a damper on the Principality of Bling, where the global crisis is being fought locally with 3-for-2 hotel room deals during low (and even high) season, 2-for-1 happy hours and solde (sale) signs in shop windows all over town. It’s the Continent’s most unexpected place to avoid the euro-blues and soak up some luxury living at a discount.

Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton will race as World Champion in the Monaco Grand Prix on 24 May, while Lance Armstrong (injuries permitting) will pedal his way into town when the Tour de France begins there on 4 July. I, meanwhile, board a red-and-white chopper at Nice airport and whoosh my way into Monaco, Bond-style, with Heli Air Monaco (www.heliairmonaco.com). At €120, it’s only slightly more than an airport taxi and makes the perfect high-class start to my budget sojourn. And after arriving in such style, there’s loads more to do without denting your wallet.

From the helipad, I clamber my way up the precipitous blacktop incline to Monaco-Ville, also known as “Le Rocher”, an old town of cobbled alleys and crêperies. Just ask for the divine Crêpe à la Grand Marnier, topped with whipped cream (€4.20) at Crêperie du Rocher (12 Rue du Comte Félix Gastaldi).

At the convergence of the cobbles is the Prince’s Palace, a light beige castle perched on a titanic chunk of limestone high above the sea. Given the incongruous modern backdrop of high-rise residential towers, chaotic pavements, in-mountain elevators and swathes of tunnels and overpasses below, it almost feels like a Lego version of a real castle. It’s a clichéd image too – zillionaire rulers lording it over millionaire subjects from a towering, cliff-side citadel. But on a spring afternoon it is perfectly breathtaking.

The Grimaldi dynasty acceded to Monaco’s throne in 1297, turning the fortress into one of the most resplendent royal residences in the world. I sauntered through the opulent State Apartments (entrance fee, €7), a lengthy stretch of rooms holding a prodigious collection of thrones, frescoes, portraits, mosaics, silk brocade walls and a 13th-century Carrera marble staircase.

Outside at the Place du Palais, a clutch of white-suited, poker-faced royal guards are marching to trumpet and drums, their bayonets drawn. The soldiers change guard every day at 11:55am, marching from portico towards rocky promontory, where a battery of cannons, conferred to the family by Louis XIV, aim out towards the fashionable Cap d’Ail.

Grace Kelly gave up a Hollywood career when she married Monaco’s Prince Rainier in 1956, but tragedy struck 26 years later when her Rover P6 tumbled off one of Monaco’s hairpin turns, thus ending her fairytale life, but cementing her mystique. The Palace now comprises one of the stops along a newly inaugurated Princess Grace Trail, a free, self-guided walking tour of 25 plaques around the city commemorating the actress.

When Grace walked the Earth, she would shop along the Boulevard des Moulins and Avenue des Beaux-Arts, the home of local haute couture. But for those of us not on royal per diems, Stock Griffe (5 bis Avenue St Michel) offers up to 90% off brand names such as Prada and D&G. Or, for something more idiosyncratic, try the fashionable bric-a-brac at Les Puces de Fontvieille, a Saturday harbourside flea market, where I picked up a faded black-and-white postcard of a Bugatti winning the 1933 Grand Prix (€1).

At 1.96km2, Monaco isn’t exactly sprawling, but there can still be no better way to navigate its winding, MC Escher-like roadways than from behind the hand-stitched wheel of a flashy sports car. Liven Up Monaco (www.livenupmonaco.com) offers 15-minute panoramic driving tours of the Corniche in a red Ferrari 360 Spider. With a thrumming hand-tuned Italian engine smouldering behind my ear, it was the most exhilarating guided tour I’ve ever been on. And considering the normal one-day rental prices for a Ferrari in Monaco start at €1,580 (don’t forget your chequebook for the €18,000 deposit), the €45 price is a no-brainer. For the faint of heart, though, there’s always the bus. The eco-friendly Prince Albert II recently reduced the fare of local buses to €1, making it the cheapest, easiest and fastest way to see the city – 10 minutes from one end of town to the other.

I hop on one to the glamorous Fairmont Monte-Carlo hotel (2 Avenue des Spélugues, tel: +377 9350 6500, www.fairmont.com), whose Saphir le Bar serves a delectable mixed green salad with fresh dressing (€12) in a lounge with massive floor-to-ceiling windows offering priceless views of the French Riviera. It’s also people-watching heaven – during my three hours of eating and loitering there, Akon waltzed in to play a ditty on the piano and Beyoncé wandered by my table.

A brisk walk away is Sabor di Vino (15 Galerie Charles III), a wonderful hole-in-the-wall of a wine bar with a biblical-sized wine list (glasses from €4.50). I could dine all night on their free, all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of great cheeses, sausages and tapenade, but that would be gauche, wouldn’t it? Instead, I amble down to the marina, where toothpaste-white yachts are gleaming in the harbour. I park myself at the lively Brasserie de Monaco (36 Route de la Piscine, tel: +377 9798 5120, www.brasseriedemonaco.com), an organic brewery where trust-fund kids come to look down-at-heel splayed out on long, comfortable couches, sipping on €6 pints of the bitter Blonde 5º and surfing the free wi-fi. The Brasserie serves great French comfort food for dinner – I had the juicy coq au vin for €12. Around midnight, the place really gets moving, as hipster millionaires slink up to heiresses-in-waiting and begin gyrating to drum and bass.

Several hours later, everyone makes their way to the casinos – as one does when in town. Officially, Monégasque residents are (unfairly, in my opinion) legally restricted from parting with their cash in the country’s casinos, but visitors are welcome to lose theirs anywhere. The famed Casino de Monte Carlo charges a €10 cover, while the beautiful art deco Casino Café de Paris has free entry.

Automobile mogul Édouard Michelin once lost control of his car and crashed into one of the pillars at the Café de Paris, but I manage to escape an hour later having won €20 at the one-arm bandit. It is coming up on 4am in one of the most luxurious destinations in the world, the beautiful people are strutting around me, their Maseratis just outside and adrenalin is racing through my body as hundreds of coins rain down into a metallic basin just in front of me. Not only have I come to Monaco and saved, I have come and won.

Spend it / save it

EAT
€€€ 24-carat gold tin of Almas Beluga caviar,
€17,292
€ FMC Burger at Fairmont Monte Carlo’s Bar
le Saphir, €29

IMBIBE
€€€ Bottle of Dom Pérignon Mathusalem at Jimmy’z (Le Sporting Club, Avenue Princesse Grace, tel: +377 9806 2000), €18,800
€ Pint of organic beer at Brasserie de Monaco, €6

STAY
€€€ Presidential Suite at the Hôtel Hermitage (Square Beaumarchais, tel: +377 9806 4000, www.hotelhermitagemontecarlo.com) for one night, €7,500
€ Double room at Azur Hotel (12 Boulevard de la République, Beausoleil, tel: +33 (0)4 93 78 01 25) for one night, €69

GET AROUND
€€€ 248ft Anastasia yacht, docked in Monaco harbour, €150 million
€ Bateau-Bus that traverses Monaco harbour, €1
€€€ Bugatti Veyron, one of the world’s fastest cars (0–60 in 2.5 seconds), €903,279
€ Unlimited all-day Monaco bus pass, €3

FOR MORE ON MONACO AND TO PRINT OUT DISCOUNT COUPONS FOR SOME OF ITS ATTRACTIONS, CHECK OUT WWW.VISITMONACO.COM