Hell on Wheels

You thought ice hockey was tough? Wait till you see Roller Derby, the high-octane all-female hybrid of wrestling, tag and speed skating. We spend a weekend with the London League and find out how you can take part in the UK and across Europe.

Roller derby is enjoying its biggest revival since the 1950s, and is presently the world’s fastest-growing women’s sport. Sharon McKinley straps on her skates with the London Rollergirls league for a helping of thrills and spills. Photography by Tony French

In a North London sports hall on a sunny Saturday afternoon, a packed and animated crowd gathers for the London Rollergirls’ end-of-season championship game. A DJ blasts out heavy rock music, and paramedics linger by the side of the track.

Two teams, the Suffra Jets and the Ultraviolent Femmes are getting last- minute pep talks from their captains, while applying duct tape to their knee, elbow and wrist guards. The compere, Los Angeles- born director and founder of the London Rollergirls, Bette Noir – presently laid up with what the girls call “the nine-month injury” – introduces the racers. In an assortment of hotpants, fishnets and legwarmers, the likes of Bexorcist, Nuke Leah, Raw Heidi and others take their places for the first “jam” of the game. Jeers, cheers and pantomime boos ring out as their names are called.

It’s time for the roller derby and, in a whirl of frantic bodies, this fast-paced female-only competitive contact sport begins! Blondie’s Atomic booms out as the pack takes off – consisting of three blockers and a pivot from each team (see box on derby-speak overleaf). On the next whistle, two jammers explode from their starting line several metres back and head straight for the pack at breakneck speed.

The jammers first have to pass safely through the pack. The blockers and pivot from one team will try to help get their girl through, while at the same time doing their best to stop the opposing team’s jammer and, ideally, knock her – and her team mates – off the track completely. After passing through the pack, the jammers then sprint around the course to catch up with them again. They can now start scoring points, with one awarded for each opposing pack member they manage to lap.

Each jam lasts just two minutes, and the crowd goes wild for aggressive blocking, fouling and players being propelled into their midst. This is a game in which blood is spilled on the track and beer is spilled off it.

I’m taken up by the passion and pageant of it all, cheering and hooting. After the release of Drew Barrymore’s skating flick Whip It earlier this year, roller derby – with the theatrics of pro-wrestling, the skill of speed skating and the aggression of ice hockey – has grown in popularity among players and spectators alike. There are now about 500 women’s leagues in 16 countries, and pretty much anyone can do it if they want to. Despite their scary pseudonyms, the London Rollergirls are from all walks of life. The girls now count nurses, teachers, a violinist and even a barrister among their number.

Metallikat, real name Kathryn Ord, is a civil servant by day but spends her evenings and weekends in derby training and playing in league games. “Whether you just want to play for fun or are looking to get into derby as a serious sport – and regardless of what you do for a living, where you live or what kind of crowd you normally hang out with – the league is big enough for everyone,” she says.

Though it would take me six months of hardcore training to be anywhere near racing standard, I am determined to at least start to be a part of it. This thing is addictive!

So the following morning I turn up to training with about 50 other racers, including a six-strong team from Paris keen to replicate the London Rollergirls’ success recruiting and racing within their own league back home. Melodie Fassinou tells me they have 30 girls in their league, and the ambition is to have 100 by the end of the year.

“It’s such an incredible sport and we’re gaining momentum all the time,” she says. “Soon we’ll be taking on London in a European championship.” Today, I’m having a lesson from two of the sport’s superstars: Stefanie Mainey, and Lorna Brown, aka Kami (Kamikaze) Kitten, widely regarded as the best derby girls in Europe. Stefanie started three years ago when the UK league was just six months old, and quickly established herself as one of its most valuable players, skating with the Suffra Jets and the league’s brand new team Harbour Grudges.

“A couple of years ago when I told people I did roller derby, they’d just look at me blankly and ask where the ball was. Now most people know exactly what derby is, and they think it’s a really cool sport,” she says.

So, fully kitted out with kneepads, wrist guards, elbow pads, helmet and mouthguard I try to get to my feet – which is far from easy. Finally, two nearby girls hoist me up and hold on until I find my balance. My skates are a little slicker than I was expecting, and standing up is a chore – never mind standing still. My first fall comes within minutes and my tailbone takes the brunt of it. Ouch!

Kami gets me into a squatting position to stabilise me. “This is your derby position,” she tells me. “It keeps your centre of gravity down for balance and gives you more power in your skating.” My thighs are burning after 30 seconds of squatting like this, but standing up brings on some frantic windmilling of my arms, so I try to stick with it.

The sport is pretty rough, like rugby on wheels, so learning how to fall when pushed is imperative. After learning four different methods, I’m then shown how to stop using a plough stop, a T-stop, a derby stop and a hockey stop. My own personal method is rolling towards a stationary object such as a wall, but that gets short shrift from these girls.

We move onto blocking, using shoulders and hips. Practising with two of the best racers in Europe, I feel at a slight disadvantage, and my poor attempts at knocking them over are met with bemused encouragement. “Don’t hold back, just try and knock me over,” says Kami. Who said I was holding back? But, to be fair, I haven’t had so much fun in ages and it’s bringing out the competitive side in me.

Back to the championship bout, and after an hour – and countless jams, penalties and bruises later – the Suffra Jets are taking their lap of honour with an impressive 104–76 win. As the crowd heads to the championship after-party I’m making plans to join the girls tomorrow and thinking up names for myself. Fire Kracker, Hard Knox, Moo Moo Mama – am I into this or what? Hell yeah girls, hell yeah!

GET ROLLERING

If you’d like to witness the wheel thing up- close and personal, head to Earls Court, west London, on 13 November for bouts between the Suffra Jets and the Ultraviolent Femmes, and between the Steam Rollers and an as-yet unnamed contender. There is a recreational league every Monday from 8-10pm at the City of London Academy (240 Lynton Road). Entry is £5 (€6). For more details, visit www.londonrollergirls.com

Not in London? Never fear, there are loads more clubs in Ryanair cities around Europe:

Paris Rollergirls
WWW.PARISROLLERGIRLS.COM

Bear City Roller Derby (Berlin)
WWW.BEARCITYROLLERDERBY.COM

Dublin Roller Girls
WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/DUBLINROLLERGIRLS

Auld Reekie Roller Girls (Edinburgh)
WWW.ARRG.CO.UK

Stockholm Rollerderby
WWW.ROLLERDERBY.SE

ROLLING OFF THE TONGUE

Understanding the lingo is essential to getting to grips with the game - both on and off the track. Here are some of the terms you’ll need:

Pack: Both teams assembled together on the track, minus the jammers.

Jammer: Each team has a jammer, they’re the ones who start a few metres and seconds behind the pack. It’s their job to break through the pack and lap it, scoring points as they go. Jammers are identified by a star on their helmet.

Lead Jammer: The first jammer to break through the pack is the lead jammer, and only she has the power to call off the jam – which she does by touching her hips.

Pivot: Each team has a pivot, whose job it is to call plays and control the pace at which the pack skates. Pivots are identified by a stripe on their helmet.

Blocker: The blockers make up the rest of the team. It’s their job to knock the opposition off the track and to help their jammer break through the pack.

Whip: Team members may give their jammer a helping hand around the track by grabbing her hand and propelling her forward.

Power Jam: When one jammer has been sent to the penalties box, leaving the other jammer free to score points.

Boutfits: Outfits for bouts, of course!

Fast facts

GETTING THERE

Ryanair flies to London from over 100 destinations across Europe. For more details, visit www.ryanair.com. For more information on London, check out our London destination guide on page 121, and www.visitlondon.com. Gatwick, Luton and Stansted airports all serve central London, and offer regular train and bus services into the city, incluxding the Gatwick Express to Victoria station and the Stansted Express to Liverpool Street. Hertz (www.hertz.com) provides special car hire rates for Ryanair passengers.