Fight for your right to par-three!

Gone are the days of hurling TVs out of the window. Today the good, the bad and the ugly of the music world are taking their frustrations out on the golf course, says Gavin Newsham

If the recent occasion of US President Barack Obama welcoming the world’s number-one golfer Tiger Woods to the White House wasn’t enough to convince you of the global importance of golf, then surely the news that everyone’s favourite pint-sized pop princess, Kylie Minogue, has just splashed out a reported €45,000 on customised clubs (apparently she wants a set in each of her homes) suggests that golf, in all its sumptuous glory, must now be the greatest game of all. Well, if it’s good enough for Kylie…

But should we be surprised? Ms Minogue’s recent dalliance with the game is just the latest in an increasingly long line of pop stars, rockers and rappers (like Snoop Dogg) seeking solace in golf. It’s a sort of new rock ’n’ roll rite of passage. Indeed, some of the coolest people on the planet – and Meat Loaf – are now coming out of the golf closet and a younger, hipper generation of golf gunslingers are taking to the tee. Brandon Flowers, frontman with The Killers admits to being a golf addict – saying that it was only his interest in music that finally stopped him pursuing a career in professional golf.

“I attribute my moral standing to the learning of golf,” he says. “I think it made me a better person.”

On this side of the pond, meanwhile, Nicky Wire, the bass guitarist with Welsh rock behemoths the Manic Street Preachers agrees. “I love absolutely everything about it,” he says. “It dignifies people; the kind of sport that can make a bad person into a good person.” With an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of the game, Wire (he’s the tall one, by the way – wears dresses and eyeliner) seems to be a most unlikely spokesman for a sport often perceived as elitist and inaccessible, not least because here is a man who has made his name with a brand of highly politicised rock rooted firmly in the class struggle. “I’m looking forward to retirement,” he adds. “I hope to be fit and well enough to spend a lot of time on the course.”

Elsewhere, Robbie Williams has used the game to help in his ongoing battle with his many demons, while Justin Timerblake – a man with putting greens inside and outside his mansion – made the cover of the game’s bible, Golf Digest. Metal monsters Metallica, meanwhile, had a Ryder Cup-style face-off with rivals Megadeth and even some members of the diametrically opposed world of hip-hop have taken the game to their hearts, with the Beastie Boys, Snoop Dogg and the famously offensive 2 Live Crew’s Luke Campbell swapping the bling for the bunkers.

But why do they do it? Is it a way to find some time to themselves, away from the pressures of international pop stardom? Or are they just plain bored? Lawrence Donegan was once the bass player in Lloyd Cole and the Commotions but today he’s the golf writer for The Guardian newspaper.

“Musicians tend to have a lot of spare time on their hands so it’s another way of killing time,” he explains. “Besides, most rock and rollers are middle-class bourgeois types – so of course they play golf.”

He has a point. At first glance, the worlds of rock and golf seem like two disparate universes with no discernible common ground other than the high disposable incomes of those who participate. Sex and drugs on one hand, suspect trousers and dubious knitwear on the other. Suddenly, though, the kind of people that were once as welcome in the clubhouse as a fire-eater at a petrol station, are popping up in pro-celebrity tournaments across the globe.

Leading the charge, or rather stroll, is Alice Cooper, a man who supposedly bit the head off a chicken on stage but who has now turned his attentions to a different kind of birdie. “I was an alcoholic, not a golfer,” he says, “but when I decided to stop drinking, I knew I needed something to replace it, something to fill that time up, fill the void. So I started playing golf.”

Cooper’s obsession – he plays over 300 rounds a year – is shared by an increasing number of veteran rock stars keen to seek salvation on the course. Iggy Pop was once chased off the prestigious Doral Golf Resort in Miami for calling security and demanding they bring his Valium out to him midway through his round, while incongruous though it may seem, the likes of Neil Young and Bob Dylan, both about as anti-establishment as you can get, like nothing better than to turn on, tune in and tee off.

So are the times really a-changing? Perhaps. Where once the closest you could expect to see anything resembling a musician on the golf course was Terry Wogan whistling The Floral Dance on Around with Alliss, now there’s more than a smattering of pop stars putting their way round. And while it may not exactly be a rock ’n’ roll takeover of the tees, it does represent some kind of progress and that should be music to everyone’s ears.

12 INCREDIBLE EUROPEAN GOLF RESORTS
Got your Ryanair tickets, clubs and dodgy patterned trousers? Then let’s go…
GIRONA, SPAIN
PGA GOLF CATALUNYA
Featuring 36 holes, a luxury hotel and an idyllic location between the Pyrenees and the Costa Brava, this is one for the pros. The par-72 Stadium Course is stunning, with undulating, valley-shaped fairways flanked by wooded slopes.
www.pgacatalunya.com

BRATISLAVA, SLOVAKIA
BERNOLAKOVO
Surrounded by 200-year-old redwoods and oak trees, and set in the grounds of a baroque mansion, Bernolákovo is about as tough a golf challenge as you’ll find in Europe. Thankfully, for those of you scared off by the brutal 18-hole Black River course there is a marginally less scary nine-hole course as well.
www.golf.sk

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN
KUNGSANGEN GOLF CLUB
Set amid spectacular pine forests, Kungsängen has played host to the Scandinavian Masters no fewer than four times. There are two courses here – the King’s and the Queen’s. Both are magnificent.
www.kungsängengc.se

ALICANTE, SPAIN
LA SELLA GOLF RESORT
This is five-star golf luxury within a short drive from Alicante airport. With a course designed by the double Masters champion and Ryder Cup stalwart José Maria Olazábal and a setting as picturesque as any track in Europe, this is golf as it should be.
www.lasellagolfresort.com

FARO, PORTUGAL
QUINTA DO LAGO
One of Europe’s top courses, the Quinta do Lago resort has a North and a South course and a new third course, the Laranjal. Expect first-class facilities, perfectly manicured fairways and a post-round dining experience worth the trip alone.
www.quintadolagogolf.com

PISA, ITALY
COSMOPOLITAN GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB
Though you can name the number of famous Italian professional players on one finger, there’s still some great golf to be had in the country. This club is just a few kilometres from Pisa airport and even has a gigantic swimming pool right by the ninth green.
www.cosmopolitangolf.it

FLORENCE, ITALY
UGOLINO GOLF CLUB
Built in the 1930s and nestled in the Tuscan hills, Ugolino is pretty damn gorgeous. With 18 holes over 5,741m it’s not as long as many modern courses, but makes up for that by demanding an intricate and technical game.
WWW.GOLFUGOLINO.IT

ALICANTE, SPAIN
LA FINCA
La Finca prides itself on presenting a tough challenge to the pro while remaining just as playable for the beginner. Designed by the renowned Pepe Gancedo, it makes inventive use of water hazards and sand traps – including that of the fiendish seventh green, completely surrounded by a huge bunker.
www.golflafinca.com

TAMPERE, FINLAND
LINNA GOLF
Given that Finland doesn’t have much golfing heritage, it’s remarkable they can turn out a resort quite as breathtaking as Linna Golf. Described by legend Peter Thomson as a “national treasure”, you can even play golf at midnight during midsummer.
www.linnagolf.fi

AARHUS, DENMARK
LUBKER GOLF RESORT
This 27-hole track designed by Robert Trent Jones II was voted Best New International Golf Course 2008 by GOLF Magazine, and offers players dramatic views, bothersome bunkers and greens trickier than a sack full of eels.
www.lubker.com

OBERWALTERSDORF, AUSTRIA
FONTANA
Quite apart from the luxurious accommodation, extensive spa and award-winning restaurant, this spectacular course hosts the Austrian Open and has incredible lush, verdant fairways and immaculate greens.
www.fontana.at

BERLIN, GERMANY
SEDDINER SEE
With two separate courses, this vast club has it all. The North Course provides a fair test to the seasoned player but is perfect for those with less experience. Club members tend to play the more challenging South Course but this is 36 holes of golf heaven. Or, more likely, hell.
www.gccseddinersee.de