Fashion

Style advice for fashionistas in need by Charlie Dawson

A new trend in 60 seconds
SCULPTURED SHOULDERS

Forget your naughty bits, the fleshy part of your earlobe, the backs of your knees, because fashion has uncloaked a yet more explosive erogenous zone: the shoulders. Yes, the shoulders are the new G-spot as every designer worth their window seat at The Ivy knows.

Sexy, sculptured shoulders were pushing the pitiful aside all through the 1980s-fests that were the autumn/winter collections in New York and Paris earlier this year. Quicker than you could say “Krystle and Alexis catfight”, Max Azria and Hervé Léger were fronting up with pointy architectural shoulders that paired Dynasty with The Enterprise for space-age chic, and one-shoulder dresses made up of metallic, tiled squares, guaranteed to cling on.

Givenchy’s sharp shoulders came in black and nude tones, while Phillip Lim and Calvin Klein wedged their shoulder pads into structured jackets and sharp-cornered blouses, together with floaty fabrics and skimming vests. So those hoping to stand out with this trend will now be sporting rouched, capped shoulders and sticking us the corporate finger as they head off for a power pee in the staff toilets, screaming: “Lunch is for wimps!”

I remember those crazy family hols on the Costa del Sol. Dad staged a photo op in front of a yacht at Puerto Banus, when romance overcame the old charmer and he regaled Mum with a raspberry-coloured two-piece suit: a pencil skirt and a shoulder-padded jacket. How I salivated over that buttery leather as I trailed her round Tivoli World. Oh, the glama!

So, you greedy fashion gobblers, you wanna know who’s wearing it right before you go trotting off to the high street with your hard-earned cash? Well, let’s see: Rihanna, Gwyneth, Gaga, Posh (pictured), Beyoncé and more. If you need further convincing, shoulder pads make your waist and hips look smaller and your spine straighter. Now beam me up, Scotty!

We love

€36, WWW.AWEAR.COM
Stripe Lurex Shoulder Pad Dress, with enough padding for the Chicago Bears.

€50, WWW.MISSSELFRIDGE.COM
Declare yourself the latest addition to Dynasty with this Denim Shoulder Dress.

€30,WWW.NEWLOOK.CO.UK
A limited-edition, metallic quilted top from New Look. Wear with micro mini.